Moved!

If you're reading this via a feed like Google Reader update your damn link! I'm at http://wednesdayschild.net now, but the RSS might be Wordpress since I'm just redirecting to there for now.

Thanks for the patronage!

Intermission

Mea culpa. It's been a while since I last posted but I assure you it means only good things. I'm working on switching this blog over to its own domain, and would rather not post anything new over here until that's done. I am relatively sure we'll have everything up and running by Monday, so come back then for a full run-down on the last two (soon to be three) weeks of comics. Everything I read in that time period, succinctly reviewed. What a treat! Other projects on the docket:

• A continuation of my Blackest Night coverage, and how it points to a glaring flaw in people's understanding of the "Event Comic", and perhaps comics in general.
• Getting my shit together and coming up with content for Baltimore Comic-Con, which I will be attending with the incomparable Matt Occhuizzo, camera in tow.
• A collaborative piece for another comics site.
• A brand new music blog, which I'm working on with a few close friends, all of whom are smarter/funnier/better writers than I am (I KNOW RIGHT HOW COULD THAT BE.)
• MORE?!

I took down my last post, the intro to my Blackest Night/event comic commentary, for the sake of integration. I'll repost it as soon as we switch over, which is Monday, October 5th. Also, my birthday is October 8th. My birthday. 26 years old. Twenty-six. Two Six. Two? Six. I am officially going to be in my late-mid twenties. That's a thing, right? My goal has always been to be in the top five Google hits for my last name come my 26th birthday (not true) and thanks to Disney buying Marvel I've actually done it.

Thanks, and see you on Monday.

109 Here Are Some Books That Have Pictures In Them That I Read This [Thursday] (9/10/2009)

Welcome to HASBTHPITTIRTW. Each Thursday I'll be reviewing some comics I bought the day before from my local comic shop, Bergen Street Comics.

To be honest there were some good comics this week, but Fred Van Lente deserves credit for once again putting out the two best comics of the week: Incredible Hercules and The Amazing Spider-Man. Now here's some bad ones! Yayyy!

Models Inc. #1
Written by Paul Tobin
Pencils by Vinçenc Villagrasa

Is it good? Not really, no, but I somehow don't think a whole lot of thought went into this project, other than "make a comic about models and have a Tim Gunn back up and maybe girls will read it." Well, the back up is a whole lot better than the main story, and that's about the closest to a positive review I can give this comic. Tobin tries his best but ultimately when encumbered with a generic artist his cute dialogue comes off as boring and overly explicated. "Did you know Patsy Walker was Hellcat?" "You mean Hellcat the SUPERHERO??"

The problems with creating a comic about fashion and making Hellcat the most recognizable name of the bunch in order to ease the transition for young women entering the Marvel Universe are too many to name, laying mostly in the truth that just saying Hellcat is a superhero, one that people "in continuity" know about, and recognize instantly, automatically creates a barrier for readers who have never heard of Hellcat. My cousin Dominique seems to be who this comic is marketed towards-- young, female, non-comics reader who might be interested in a story about fashion-- but that scene would completely take her out of it. It turns the story back into "this thing of ours". The moment isn't a long one, maybe two or three panels, but it's mentioned again later, and between that and the Human Torch cameo it's enough to make my cousin turn to me and say "who is this? what is this? why is this happening?", and by that point you've already lost her. And don't tell me she should recognize the Human Torch because of the Fantastic Four movies, because she doesn't care about the Fantastic Four movies. No one does.

Ultimately this book becomes another example Joe Quesada can point to in an interview and say, "hey, we tried, but girls don't like comics"; just another misguided attempt at pandering to a fan base its editors know nothing about.

Dark Avengers/Uncanny X-Men: Exodus
Written by Matt Fraction
Pencils by Mike Deodato and Terry Dodson

In the past I've extolled the virtues of Matt Fraction's Uncanny X-Men, but there are a few reasons why Utopia/Exodus/whatever was a horrible failure:

1. Change in location. The X-Men are no longer based out of Marin County, the Westchester of San Francisco. Now they're on Asteroid M, raised from the ocean and situated off the coast of the Bay Area. They aren't allowed to leave it legally, and so it's essentially a prison colony (like Australia, or Newark.) The status quo of the mutants in San Francisco worked great because it made them people, part of the real world, and thus allowed for more personal stories. It's the only way the X-Men have ever really worked. All those great Claremont stories, even when the team was in space they seemed like fish out of water. Pixie being beaten half to death by mutant haters and Colossus saving those Russian refugees, those were stories that worked because of setting. You can keep your super-stories. I like my X-Men as thinly veiled allegories for race relations and homophobia, thank you very much.

2. Dark Reign is really, really boring. An unbelievable premise mixed with shoddy execution makes for a poor crossover event. Not only that but the X-Universe as a whole is criticized for being too complicated; I don't really see the benefit in shoehorning in Norman Osbourn and his boys for a few issues.

3. Rushed storytelling. The whole event felt like Fraction sort of just phoned it in. This issue was particularly bad, with Dodson and Deodato drawing fight scenes I couldn't even understand. Poorly chosen angles, awkward positions, and-- I'm sorry, is Ares swinging his axe at a wall? A building? A precipice? Whatever it is, it's not a person. If the god of war is in your battle scene and you aren't using him to fuck people up you are wasting him and should probably let someone else have a turn.

In any event this story is finally behind us. Fraction is way better than what's on display here, and I anticipate that the next few issues will prove that. As it stands, general rule of thumb now is to never buy an X-Men comic with The Sentry on the cover again.

Blackest Night: Batman #2
Written by Peter J. Tomasi
Art by Adrian Syaf and John Dell
and
Green Lantern Corps #40
Written by Peter J. Tomasi
Art by Patrick Gleason and Rebecca Buchman

If there's anyone with as much invested in "Blackest Night" as Geoff Johns it's probably Peter Tomasi, who is not only orchestrating one of the flagship books of the crossover but is in charge of one of it's tie-in comics as well. It's fitting, then, that these two comics came out in the same week, so we can analyze just what it is Tomasi brings to the table for "Blackest Night".

First let's take a look at the tie-in, Blackest Night: Batman. As these things go BN:B isn't the worst offender but it's far from perfect, falling into a trap that a lot of comics seem to fall into these days. Namely it presupposes that its audience cares, in this case about the random obscure villains being resurrected. In fact it seems to be the hook of the series (that and Dick Grayson's dead parents showing up.) Trouble is, it turns out comics don't work that way. You need to give people a reason to care, or else the large portion of readers who have no clue who Magpie is are going to be bored. Hell, I know who Magpie is and I'm bored. Bored of Deadman body-jumping, bored of Red Robin, bored of Commissioner Gordon and of immature Damian. I know I've said it in Blogging the Bat a few times but Christ, can we have a moratorium on using Damian for all writers but Grant Morrison? Seriously, no one but him does it well, writing him instead as an annoying little brat, and it ruins every story he's in.

Green Lantern Corps, on the other hand, is a title that has pretty consistently been a fun read. It's engrossing in a way that isn't too "Universe" driven, in that with a basic background in reading comics you should be able to follow it. I wouldn't recommend it to someone who has no idea who or what a "Kilowog" is, mind you, but if you've read your fair share of Supermans or Batmans or Wonder Womans it isn't too much of a leap to get the basic idea of this comic. Much like Matt Fraction's work on X-Men, though, this book has started to become somewhat hampered by the big crossover; from "Sinestro Corps War" to the "Blackest Night" build up to "Blackest Night" itself, there hasn't been as many self-contained stories as the early days of the series. And that's fine; "Sinestro Corps" went off like gangbusters, and the title has been pretty strong since then. Still, it's lost some of it's steam in the "Blackest Night" DC Universe. It's there to further along a story that someone else is working on, much like Fraction was used to further along Bendis' story. And I guess that answers my question, doesn't it?

What does Peter J. Tomasi bring to the table for "Blackest Night"? Just another pair of hands for Geoff Johns.

108 The Squirrel Machine

Hans Rickheit is described on the dust jacket of his new book as a "legendary obscurantist." It's hard to argue with that assessment. Throughout all 179 pages of The Squirrel Machine Rickheit tells a rich, fluid tale, all the while approaching, but not quite revealing any implicit meaning the story itself might have. The result, a daring, surreal, often grotesque work, is more visceral than it is cognitive.

There isn't much about The Squirrel Machine that doesn't seem like everything you've just read is one giant dream, or hallucination. Many scenes contain nothing that could feasibly be referred to as "the literal", relying only on symbolism to tell the the story, or perhaps not even that. It's possible Rickheit's intention was to craft a story with no intrinsic meaning, leaving different interpretations up to the reader; the author daring his audience to take part in the creative process.

This isn't to say the story doesn't contain "facts". On the contrary, its foundation is somewhat straightforward: the tale of two brothers who are societal outcasts due to their odd behavior and freakish inventions, The Squirrel Machine follows its protagonists Edmund and William Torpor as they grow older, becoming slightly more eccentric as the story progresses.

However, it's what isn't said that seems most interesting.For example, we're shown the blueprints to the Squirrel Machine, the titular invention, only in passing, and we're never quite given an impression of what it might do. Even as Edmund is about to explain his discovery to William he cuts himself short as he sees his brother's bruised and scraped face, implied to be a result of a run-in with local crazy person the Pig Lady. The machine is never again mentioned by either character on panel for the rest of the book.

The Pig Lady herself is a remarkably surreal entity, part homeless loon and part female shaman. Her speech is little more than a series of gibberish words and grunts, her actions nothing short of hypnagogic. She's seen eating the boils off of sick animals, and scooping the brains out of a crushed human head. Still, she serves as sort of a vessel of change throughout the book for each of the boys, first supplying the means with which to create their "pig organ" (an organ with pig heads rather than pipes to produce sound), then acting as the trigger for their eventual sexual and spiritual awakenings. Their attempt at creating a second organ, this time with a cow rather than her trademark pigs, is met with disaster.

Of course, if none of this makes sense it may be due to one man's misguided attempt at applying meaning to that which has none. Still, meaning or not, Rickheit's work feels far too personal to ignore. His artwork is crisp and detailed, and he can turn a scene on its head with just a few panels. Even if you're unsure of what he's saying Rickheit demands your attention as he says it.

Publisher: Fantagraphics

107 DC Comics to Become "DC Entertainment"

In a somewhat surprising move, and one sure to be seen as a response to Marvel's recent purchase by Disney, Warner Bros. has restructured DC Comics, creating the new DC Entertainment brand. The press release, which was announced via the DC Universe Blog, has Paul Levitz relinquishing his position as President and Publisher to Diane Nelson, currently president of Warner Premiere.

In his new role, Levitz will be called upon for his deep knowledge and more than three-decade history with DC Comics, both as a comic creator and an executive. Besides serving as a writer on a number of DC Comics titles, he will be a contributing editor and consultant to DC Entertainment on projects in various media.

This comes hot on the heels of Rich Johnston's previous report that Paul Levitz would be stepping down as President of DC Comics, but the news that DC would be changing from "Comics" to "Entertainment" was surprising, and Levitz' new position even more so.

I'm not entirely sure what impac tthis will have on the company's production, if any at all. If it means more movies based on their product, well, then good for them, I suppose. It's a weird distinction, though. If they were planning on getting rid of Levitz, or even if this is a response to Levitz stepping down, why the change in branding? I imagine many are going to throw their hands in the air complaining that the company is going to worry more about movies and TV than it is comics, and I suppose that's a valid concern but I doubt there will be any more changes other than a small shakeup in editorial. Still, Levitz had one hell of a career at DC, and this new role is either really beneath him or a nice, cushy position to segue into retirement.

What I think would be really interesting, though, is if this was "outed" by Johnston. People are saying this release was "rushed out" at the last second. It was being talked about less than an hour after Johnston's post. Was this DC reacting to a blogger's "scoop"? If so I think we live in some pretty weird times. The whole comics rumor site deal that Johnston has going on, a sort of TMZ or Page Two for comics... man, it's weird enough that shit actually exists. Now you're telling me someone with a blog and some friends in the business can change the way the mainstream comics industry operates? Shit man.

Thing is, we already know this happens in Hollywood with producers and studio execs looking to the internet to gauge fan reaction and possibly make changes to their productions. Now that Warner Premiere is more or less being merged with DC it doesn't seem unreasonable that the new management might react the same way. Thing is I'm not sure that kind of reasoning is a good thing for the comics industry (I'm hesitant to believe it's good for film), since most comics fans tend to be a bit more obsessive and character-minded than most film fans.

So while, say, Spout might talk shit on a Captain America movie for just not being a very good film, your average Newsarama or CBR message board hammerhead likes to talk shit about the creators of Captain America because he really loves Captain America-- like, as a person-- and if each comic is not catered to his tastes (yeah, I said "his"; this is one of those times female fans can be happy they're being ignored in a comics discussion) than there's nerd outrage. There's not as much intelligent criticism on comics as there is on film. Yeah, there's your Abhay Khoslas and Douglas Wolks of the world. But for every Savage Critic there's about a million Hannibal Tabu's out there waiting to ruin the world with their shitty taste in comics. This isn't to say there aren't a ton of shitty film critics as well, but I think we're at the point where we know who to listen to: Roger Ebert might be outnumbered by the Rotten Tomatos crowd but his opinions certainly go a longer way. It's like when I post reviews of comics: people stand at attention. They're demanding of an intellect far greater than your average comics fan. Also, everyone gets an erection.

Tomorrow: A review of Fantagraphics' Squirrel Machine, which I am just having the hardest time getting my thoughts down on paper for. I think I've finally decided that I like it. That much I know. I know I like it.

See? Now that's comics blogging!

UPDATE: Here's a letter from Diane Nelson.

106 Blogging the Bat #4: We Just Keep Chuggin' Along!

*Welcome back, you guys. I hope everyone had a great Labor Day weekend. Me? I got caught up with Mad Men, had a BBQ with my parents, and spent a wonderful day in Prospect Park drinking wine and reading this terrible comic. Major spoilers ahead, for those who care about things like that.

When I was a freshman in high school I used to write a lot of short fiction. Real dumb stuff, usually bad sci-fi or fantasy stories. Sometimes I'd see a movie, become obsessed, and try to rip it off in some way. Maybe write a script that was a mix between Swingers and Pulp Fiction (now that I think about it that was a common formula: Pulp Fiction + [INSERT MOVIE TITLE HERE].)

I never did much with my work at the time. I hardly ever showed anyone, or petitioned to get it in the paper, or submitted it to our literary magazine. In fact the closest I actually came to doing anything at all with my writing as a kid was joining an after school screenwriting club organized by our Freshman year guidance counselor Mr. Tedeschi, who in a past life worked for Marvel Comics. What he did there, I couldn't tell you. He could have been an accountant for all I know. What were his qualifications? Why was he in charge of the future screenwriters of America? I didn't know and I didn't care. All I knew was at 14-15 years old having a dude around who knew the outcome of "Infinity Crusade" was pretty fuckin cool in my book, and all the qualifications necessary to tell me how good my stuff was.

I showed Mr. Tedeschi a few of my stories, and he was always supportive. I mean it, by the time I was done with this club I fancied myself a young William Goldman. It was the sort of criticism you might imagine a high school guidance counselor would give his young, impressionable students at that age: "Terrific! Keep goin'!", "Write as much as you can!", "With enough hard work you TOO could be a famous writer!"

I didn't stay in this club very long, mostly because at that age I couldn't commit to much more than professional wrestling and video games, but his support stuck with me for a while. I continued to write in my spare time, and I even got over this phobia I had of finishing stories. You see, while I wrote a lot of short fiction I never actually got around to "completing" said short fiction. For me, there was always a point where I was completely stumped on how to continue. I knew what I wanted to say, where I was going. I could start the story, and I would know how it was going to end. It was just the middle part that stumped me. The mechanism for change, the moment where things take their turn, the climax right before the hammer falls. Couldn't master that itsy-bitsy, infinitely important detail.

After listening to Mr. Tedeschi and finally becoming confident enough to get over my phobia I started completing some of my work, even going so far as to wrap up some old stories I'd left on the shelf. I was feeling great about myself. I was really accomplishing something! Mr. Tedeschi helped me get on the right track! But a few months ago I found a few of my stories while moving into a new apartment, and looking at that work today I see a pretty glaring problem. You see, they started out strong enough, and reading the endings I could see what I was going for, more or less. I didn't hate the ideas behind the stories, those were fine to me. The problem was the formula and structure of the stories themselves. It went something like this:

Beginning (intro to characters) > Conflict > THEN A MIRACLE OR SOMETHING HAPPENS > Conclusion.

That's why I couldn't complete these stories. It wasn't about writer's block, I just wasn't a very good writer. I didn't understand what it took to write smart, entertaining fiction. As a 15 year old kid I didn't understand that every part of your story is important, not just the premise and the ending. Without that basic understanding of story writing I couldn't possibly churn out a story worth reading.

Remember this?

See that Two-Face Batman over there? Remember when we all thought that was some sort of metaphor?

Here's the last page of Batman #290:

There are one of two possibilities here. The first involves Winick having had this idea in his brain for quite some time and contributing to the original teaser done by Tony Daniel. The second, which is equally as stupid, involves Winick taking this metaphor for.... whatever and turning it literal, making it the focal point of his story.

Now, I don't know which of these is actually true. Frankly I don't think either option speaks too highly for Winick, except that one gives him more credit as an idea man than I think he deserves. What we can reasonably deduce, however, is that he has been waiting to write this scene for a long time. The rest of this comic, the other thirty or so pages, are completely meaningless. It's that scene, that image of Harvey Dent in a makeshift, symmetrical Batman costume that Winick wanted us to see.

And he's trying to say... well, what, exactly? Is it commentary on the thin line between hero and villain? Is it another look at the horrors mental illness have wrought upon a just man? Is it just a fuck yeah moment? I honestly struggled with this, but ultimately settled on the last choice after really examining the rest of the issue.

You see, he's really not saying anything. The opening scene, Batman fighting against Clayface and some freak-of-the-week ex-marine gone crazy (incidentally, I think it's "oorah", not "boorah"), is just another Batman fight we've seen a million times before, and this one isn't choreographed particularly well. Mark Bagley does the best he can but he's no Batman artist and Winick's dialogue is just horribly lazy, eventually devolving into Dick giving play-by-play of the battle. The Penguin subplot is boring, and I honestly can't imagine anyone caring about the "mystery villain" who's about to "take over Gotham City", almost certain to be the Black Mask.

The real watershed moment for me, though-- the moment where I finally got it, that there wasn't anything said because there wasn't anything to say-- was the use of the teleporter deus ex machina. Ah yes, of course. The teleporters that can take you directly to the Batcave. Whoa, whoa, whoa, fella. Take it easy; it's not like they can just take you to the Batcave whenever you feel like it! You need to have an object that was created there, like, say, one of the million batarangs that Batman leaves at each and every crime scene. Why hasn't anyone thought of this before? In all the years Batman has been around, and with all the super-powered humans in the world, no one ever thought to themselves, "hey, you know what? I bet one of these teleporters can take me to the Batcave, or the Fortress of Solitude, or that island where all of those lesbians live."

And, yeah, that's a stupid idea, obvious and lazy, but you know what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because everything that happens before that last page is superfluous. It's why we're seeing the same Batman fight we've seen a million times before, and it's why that Penguin subplot is awkwardly wedged in there, and it's especially why the method Two-Face uses to enter the Batcave is teleportation; because everything before the last page reveal was prologue to the last page reveal. It's the easiest possible way to get the conclusion Winick has been working towards. Is this comic good? No, no, one thousand times, no. But it was just what the writer was looking for: thirty-two pages of Batman comic used to get to the next Batman comic. Just one more month of this, and then I get to talk shit about Tony Daniel again.

105 Here Are Some Books That Have Pictures In Them That I Read This Wednesday (9/2/2009)

Welcome to HASBTHPITTIRTW. Each Thursday I'll be reviewing some comics I bought the day before from my local comic shop, Bergen Street Comics.

I make fun of Dr. Sketchy's and praise Mark Waid in this one. Where's my credibility!

Supergirl Annual
Written by Sterling Gates

Art by Fernando Dagnino

There are two stories in this issue, neither of which are terribly interesting. The first story is Gates' attempt to sum up why we should give a shit about Kara: she's an outcast to her own people as well as the people of Earth, always trying to do the right thing but, due to youthful inexperience, occasionally falling short. The second story is an origin story for Lucy Lane/Superwoman, telling the story of a girl's unreciprocated love for her father. The former fails on all fronts, while the latter is just unoriginal.

First, my patience is wearing thin with Sterling Gates' take on Supergirl. When his run started I applauded his revamp of the character, changing her from a frustrating ditz to a girl trying her hardest to become the hero her cousin is. It was her dealing with her powers, and the considerations she had to take while using them, as well as the frustrations within her personal life, including the attempt at keeping a secret identity... secret. Then this whole New Krypton thing started and the train eventually came right off the rails. It isn't entirely Gates' fault, of course, that a company mandated storyline came his way (I know this story was supposedly the brainchild of Geoff Johns, James Robinson, and Gates, but I doubt the new guy had very much say in what was going to happen in the story); what I can blame him for, though, is how incredibly uninteresting the book has been for the past few issues, this Annual included. After a year of Supergirl stories, and with any growth the character may have had being stalled by a Super-book spanning storyline, all of the traits I found most fascinating about the character have become stale and though I'm hoping Gates can pull out of this nosedive-- it ain't lookin good.

As for the second feature? Lucy Lane is a boring character, with boring problems. Case closed.

Irredeemable #6
Written by Mark Waid
Art by Peter Krause

Superhero deconstruction is so passe that it's surprising how well it works here, but work it does, and in the same way Waid's "deconstruction" worked for Kingdom Come (which, for the record, I really disliked due to the work of Alex Ross.) He isn't trying to be Alan Moore, he's just writing the best superhero story he can. And so, yes, six issues into Irredeemable and I'm still reading it, still enjoying it.

But is this an ongoing? How can this be an ongoing? I mean if they eventually stop the Plutonian the story's over, and if they don't the story's over. How long can this premise stand on it's own? Maybe that's the problem I was unable to find with the otherwise solid book. I mean, there's a reason so many people roll their eyes at the "SERIOUS SUPERHERO BUSINESS" comics, the gritty, the "raw" and "realistic"; it's just so thin. You can't really make 600 issues of Watchmen, because in Watchmen Batman would kill the Joker and the Penguin, and Superman would burn out Lex Luthor's frontal lobe, and then the two of them would probably kill each other, and that's issue twelve. Finished. Maybe the epilogue shows Lois Lane became addicted to pain pills and Catwoman's last words were Rosebud or something but when Mark Waid came up with this idea I hope he finished his pitch with, "...and then it ends."

Strange Tales #1
by Various

Take a look at that cover by Paul Pope, please. Even if I had no idea who any of these creators were just seeing that image of Spider-Man upside down, about to shoot out webbing... god damn it, man, that's making comics.

"Lo, A Watcher!" (Nick Bertozzi) "We bear witness to the events of all worlds and all possible realities, recording the large and the small. From the extinctions of planets to the jiggling, voluptuous chaos that is the human female form!" Nick Bertozzi's intro to the book sets the tone: outsiders dicking around with Marvel's characters. With this book Marvel seems like the teacher who tries to be cool and relate to his students, and while the students act like the teacher's "down" he's still the nerdy teacher so they laugh when his back is turned.

That was some metaphor.

Pope's Inhumans Story, in which Lockjaw's meal keeps being delayed by attacking supervillains, is probably the best looking 8 pages in the whole book (as it's drawn by Paul Pope I doubt that's hard to imagine.) It even brings up a fun fact I've never seen before; that Lockjaw's not a dog, he's simply the most inhuman of all the Inhumans. Funny story, and the last panel is precious.

"You Are Cordialy Invited..." (John Leavitt, Molly Crabapple) This was probably the weakest of the bunch. I really can't stand Molly Crabapple's work. I know I'm probably the only person who thinks Dr. Sketchy's is dumb but what can you do. Besides, why should you care what I think? I just referred to information about Lockjaw as a "fun fact".

"Welcome to Spider Town" (Junko Mizuno) I usually hate cutesy stuff and the comic sans font (haphazardly added upon translation) is irritating, but I couldn't resist this story about Spider-Man and Mary Jane moving to a town inhabited by Spider-People. Sometimes your boy just needs to bask in the adorable.

"Dr. Strange vs. Nightmare" (Dash Shaw) One of the stronger works in the book. Not surprising, as Shaw is near the top of my list of favorite cartoonists today. Here he gives an example of what I mentioned earlier, using his opportunity earning a Marvel paycheck to fuck with Dr. Strange. It's really pretty funny, too, as the good Doctor's biggest fight is against the urge to yawn at the end; something I had no need to do (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?) Shaw does a great job of bringing his unique style to the characters, and those familiar with his webcomic Bodyworld will find it familiar, and enjoy his use of form to play with the genre is just great.

"Hulk Squad Smash" (James Kochalka) I don't know what to say. If you don't like James Kochalka you are going to fucking hate this. I like James Kochalka.

"Marvel's Most Embarrassing Moments" and "Scared Smart" (Johnny Ryan) It's the former, not the latter (Punisher) story that really entertains here, and Ryan proves he can tone it down and still be funny. Personal favorite: Dr. Strange's rap album, "Stanktum Stanktorum".

"Fed Up With Man" (Michal Kupperman) Another creator high on my list of current favorites, Kupperman takes his Marvel opportunity to play off of the Sub-Mariner's trademark grouchiness and contempt for the surface world. I could read a whole series of Namor just walking around commenting on seemingly innocuous situations with a sneer.

"The Incorrigible Hulk" (Peter Bagge) Finally seeing the light of day! Here to kick you in the teeth! The shocking... INCORRIGIBLE HULK! Well, no, it's not all of that but it's pretty good. From what I can tell it's the only story being serialized over the three issues, so I'll hold off judgement until its ending.

"...And Call My Lover MODOK!" (Bertozzi) By far the best work in the book, Bertozzi's tale of MODOK and his lover, AIM agent #272, as told through the last four decades. It's funny, for sure, with MODOK and his lady friend changing in appearance with each change in time, and MODOK's quest to create his PINPOINT DISCORPORATOR. But what starts as a ridiculous farce actually takes a quick turn at the end, and the last few panels are almost enough to make you tear up.

"The Green Menace" and "The Blue Hair" (Perry Bible Fellowship) Ba-dump-bump!

Jason's Spider-Man story had a funny premise, and as soon as you saw where it was going it got a chuckle out of me. The last panel was a good gag, too.

The Boys #34
Written by Garth Ennis
Art by Carlos Ezquerra

If last week's issue of Herogasm was everything that can go wrong with a Garth Ennis book, here's everything that can go right. Nazi Superman on the cover? Check. Said Nazi Superman getting a crowbar shoved down his throat? Check. Big black guy hitting Nazi Superman in head with baseball bat? Check. Big fat Soviet Superman with a Hammer and Sickle on his chest, kicking the shit out of Nazi Superman, followed by brains splattering? Double check. Not only that, Ennis finds a way here to sneak in story, and I've gone from a guy who never picks this book up to possibly picking up the last few back issues, and the start of the next story arc.

Still not enough Super-dicks, though.